Brock Gossip

Nosey Norah Notes

brockgossip — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 11:19:02 +0000

Norah has recorded the registration number of the car that jumped the red light at Latchmoor Bridge on Monday 14th December at 10.10. Norah was stationary, waiting at the red light when the impatient driver overtook her and sped across the bridge. Fortunately the donkeys were still lurking near the school.

Coming soon from our French Foreign Legion correspondent

101 things to do with sand
weather from The Cloud
forest fashion
butt of the month

Emeralds under the allotments

brockgossip — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 11:07:38 +0000

There is a story that in 1916 a certain Jed Murphy, a Kiwi, recovering from wounds at what is now the Forest Park Hotel, buried a stash of emeralds somewhere in the allotments. Can anyone confirm or add to this legend?

A view over the allotments

Soap Opera

brockgossip — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 11:04:01 +0000

sponsored by http://www.newforestsoaps.co.uk/

Onslo’s pannage pork sausages are a great hit at the market.

Meanwhile, Hermione has been spotted with Goliath in the cocktail bar of the Forest Park Hotel

There is consternation in The Hot Coppice as smoke billows from fires near Bolderford Bridge.

A word from the weirds

brockgossip — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 11:02:42 +0000

North Weirds
Sponsored by http://www.monopulse.co.uk/index.html
The snooker tournament of 2009 rocked. The usual high standard of play was evident bar one.

South Weirds.
Nothing to report.

Quiz

brockgossip — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 17:34:55 +0000

1. Which is the only pub, club or hotel in Brockenhurst with a proper cellar?
2. Where are the only crossroads in Brockenhurst?
3. Where is the only roundabout in Brockenhurst?
4. What was the name of the first video rental shop in Brockenhurst?
5. Excluding the ironmongers and people with this surname. How many streets are there in Brockenhurst?

Forest fashion

Who is this fashion icon?

Pause for thought

brockgossip — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 17:29:15 +0000

1. If money doesn’t grow on trees, how come the banks have branches?
2. If a synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest of them have to drown as well?
3. Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
4. Was Marvin Gay?
5. Why can’t you buy mouse flavoured cat food?
6. Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
7. How come wrong numbers are never busy?
8. What is the speed of dark?
9. How do signs saying “Do not walk on the grass” ever get there?
10. If blind people wear dark glasses, why don’t deaf people wear ear muffs?
11. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
And finally….
12. Why is it that when you transport something by car it is a “shipment” yet when you transport something by ship it is called a “cargo”?

Butt of the month

Brock The Builder

brockgossip — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 17:25:17 +0000

Planing Issues

An ambitious plan to build a distillery at Brockenhurst Park has been mooted by a group of influential Brockenhurst businessmen. If all goes to plan they expect work to start in late February 2010. The planning application has been sent directly to Whitehall. It is hoped that English whiskie will be on sale by 2011 and supplying the Olympic village in 2012.

In 2010 the old toilets near the Snake Catcher on the Lymington Road will be re-furbished and opened as a kebab shop.